Politic

"Send in the clowns..." I couldn't help but mentally sing this as I watched a debate unfold before my eyes.

The debate between Guzzard and the Abbot in front of the Stormwind Orphanage

It had started in what appeared to be a spontaneous manner but moved on to become so contrived and full of fluff that I wondered if I had walked into some street theatre. The red haired human was espousing the merits of physical exercise (she repeatedly claimed that we'll be "moving forward") while the dress wearing dwarf was yabbering on about some goblin anchor technology designed to "stop the boats". It must have been goblin engineering as I could not see any logical way to fulfil what he was promising.

The local pie vendor was there trying to sell his wares and I asked him what it was all about, as I purchased some of his questionable merchandise. “Who knows” he said, shrugging, “but it is good for business!"

The town crier overheard my question and responded "Politics!" as if that was the answer to answer all questions.

"Politics?" I inquired.

"Tyrande in her forward thinking has decided the mayor of Darnassus should be chosen by the people. So they will vote this weekend. These two are in the running."

"Darnassus? But this is Stormwind!"

"Indeed, but there is a large number of citizens of Darnassus here in Stormwind. This is a marginal electorate and it could decide the vote!" he could hardly contain his excitement.

In the light of this explanation what they were saying was making more sense. The red head, Guzzard her name, was espousing the need for a global communication system to make looking for a dungeoning group a quick and speedy process. It would no longer just be restricted to the cities. Millions of gold would go towards some wizardry of gnomish engineering and magecraft to solve this dire problem.

The dwarf, an abbot, on the other hand, was pulling the hard line on immigration. He would stop the boats that land on the shores of Teldrassil.

"I was one of those boat people!" I exclaimed in shock.

A more worthy politician?

The pie vendor, who had stayed next to me enjoying the spectacle, looked at me nervously and shuffled away. Ironic. I was a Death Knight, a walking corpse! And I had only recently escaped the enslavement of the Lich King, and yet it is only when he finds out I was a refugee that he fears me!

The red head's policy on immigration was not much different - the focus on sending the "invaders" to the furbolgs in Felwood rather than to the Draenei on Azuremyst Isle. A human and a dwarf casting out those in desperate need of help when they were clearly immigrants themselves? This may be politics but it seemed they were bereft of any intelligence.

They were winding up their speeches, punctuating their points with a repeated phrase – something to take home to the family I guess. The red head reiterating "yes we will" while the dwarf hammered home the line "I like cake".

"Cake?" I asked the crier.

It's a modification of a successful slogan from a recent campaign in Ironforge. The mayor's slogan there was 'yes we can' which Guzzard is using. The abbot didn't want to be outdone so he picked up on one of the other recurring phrases of the campaign - 'I like pie'". The crier wistfully shook his head.

An more surprising alternative

"That was a day to make any town crier proud, I loved yelling that one out!"

I left the crier to his reflections, slowly travelling with the dispersing crowd. I couldn't help but feel like some of my soul had been taken away from me just by listening to their talk. These people were going to take charge of the everyday running of Darnassus? Lost in thought, I somehow ended up in the warrior training grounds. I couldn't help but think I could get more intelligent responses from the training dummies here.

This fellow would be easier to understand

Was there any others standing for election whose policies might actually represent me? I was a citizen of Darnassus. Or at least I was - I don't know what the rules are concerning citizenship and undeath. I'd have to find out..